weekend awakenings

My family was given quite the reminder to count our blessings.  After a lovely Thanksgiving Thursday, my mom called Friday night to tell me Grandy was being taken the the hospital after what appeared to be a stroke.  Apparently when she came home from a friends house late Friday afternoon, her husband kept asking if she had been drinking,  Then when she went to get ready for bed, she fell and couldn't move her right side to get up.  An ambulance was called and she was taken to the emergency department.  Tests revealed that she suffered a cerebral hemmorhage on the right side.

Because of where it is located, surgery is not an option.  Luckily, it appears that medication will at least stop the bleed.  She has significant right side weakness but is already showing some signs of improvement.  She is lucid, knows who she is and recognizes everyone around her even if she can't remember their names, she needs to be reminded where she is and I still haven't seen her be able to tell you what year it is.  She does know that Christmas is quickly approaching though because she keeps asking me how she is going to get all her Christmas shopping done.  I have tried to explain to her that I can help her do it online or with catalogs or even go physically buy the gifts myself, but the short-term memory problems are keeping it on her mind.  She is in the ICU and will be a few more days.  Then she will most likely be sent to a rehab hospital for possibly a few weeks.  She is okay though.

We are beyond thankful she is okay.  And I have seen our family pull together more over the past weekend than I have seen them do so in over ten years.  It is unfortunate that it took an emergency to make everyone pull together, but we are thankful and blessed.

Wishing you a belated happy thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving or Thursday, whichever applies.  I tried to get over here a dozen times to wish a happy day and post a picture of the hand turkey Gwendolyn made, but it just never happened.  Some days are like that.

Did any of you get up at dark:thirty and do all your Christmas/ holiday shopping?  Some stores were opening at midnight.  That is just crazy.  I can't think of anything I need bad enough to skip sleeping and fight the crowds for.  I've only ever gone shopping early on Black Friday and that was when Gwendolyn was 5 months old.  She woke us up early and refused to go back to sleep, so we got out of the house and went to the mall.  It was a madhouse, and since we didn't have any shopping goals, we were in the way.  That was the first and last time we  have done Day after Thanksgiving shopping.

I'll admit I do still have a few gifts to get or make.  I am hoping to do most of that shopping online.  What can't be done online, I'll get when we are out at the mall during the week.  The girls and I go wander around the mall or Target for a couple hours once or twice a week.  I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost four years and have decided that is what lots of stay-at-home parents do.  We see the same people every week and they appear to be meandering the same as we are.  Do you have any neat gift ideas you are giving this year?  I would love to hear them.  I have a couple people on my list who are very difficult to shop for and regardless of how much thought I put into it, generally wind up with more Arkansas Razorback paraphernalia.

You would probably expect talk of cooking the day before Thanksgiving...

• We got to go see Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part One this weekend and really enjoyed it.  The theater was all decorated with references to the series everywhere.  I am glad I had read the book before though because otherwise some of the things going on in the movie wouldn't have made much sense.  Now I am just waiting on the last one to come out.
• If you are planning on going to see HPDH:1, I would not suggest drinking a large glass of tea before going to the movie and then part of a soda during the movie, unless you want to spend the last hour of the movie wondering if your bladder is actually going to explode and contemplating peeing in a popcorn bucket so you feel relief but also don't miss any of the movie.  I am just saying.
• Keary made it to St. Louis and back safely, and the girls and I made it through fine too.  The only incident was when I went to let Waylon back inside Sunday only to find that he had escaped.  I pulled on shoes, grabbed his leash, and headed out the door to go hunt him down.  Gwendolyn cried big, giant, sloppy tears because she thought her dog was gone forever.  By the time I made it out the door though, our nice neighbor lady was bringing him home.  
• Gwendolyn has made her a thank you card and is chomping at the bit to deliver it, but she has been gone. I promised her that she will get to deliver it soon.
• I'm super proud that Gwendolyn even thought to make a thank you card. 
• Being alone without adult contact for 36 hours nearly turned me into a zombie.  The lack of sleep and listening to the girls' constant chatter didn't help either.  
• That is why this entry is in bullet form.  I didn't know if I could make a coherent entry with paragraphs and stuff.
• I don't have an excuse for the rest of the time though when Keary is not away on business trips.
• I asked Keary the other morning when I got out of the shower how zombies turn into zombies and he didn't even bat an eye. I might as well have asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch.  I think that is very telling of our relationship.
• And lastly, it is currently 74 degrees outside.  Tomorrow the low is 28.  This does not forebode well for the time between now and tomorrow night.

Whee Weekend

What do you have going on this weekend?  Getting ready for Thanksgiving? Movies?  Housework?

Maggie had her 15 month wellness check-up this morning and received two injections, so I am hoping to get to all of the above but know that may not happen.  Sometimes she does fine with her vaccinations, sometimes she runs a little fever and is cranky.  The appointment went well, Dr. S said she was perfect.  I expressed some concern over her lack of talking because Gwendolyn was already speaking in complete sentences at this age, but she said that she is obviously communicating and getting her ideas out.  I also told her that I have had family expressing concern (or disgust but let's call is concern) that Maggie is still nursing.  She reassured me that Maggie is still a baby and as long as I am comfortable nursing her, then it is fine. Sometimes it is just nice to have someone reassure me and affirm what I think.

So if Maggie is not crank I am hoping to get a couple things ready for Thanksgiving.  Depending on the dish, I will assemble it as much as possible and then put it in the freezer, then finish up on Thursday.  I say Thursday.  I really have no idea what our Thanksgiving plans are though.  The past two years we have stayed home and just cooked for us.  This year though, my mom said something about cooking.  She said she was cooking several weeks ago though and I have not heard anything else: what I need to bring, where we are eating, what time, nada.  Keary's dad said they would like us to come up for Thanksgiving lunch too, so I ought to make something for us to take.  I really require more planning and information than I am getting though from everyone.  If I wasn't such a coward about cooking a turkey, I would just have us stay home.  The past couple years we have gotten already cooked turkeys so I guess I was cheating.

And we are going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part One tomorrow.  I am super excited.  We generally wait until a movie has been out a few weeks so it isn't so crowded, but we really wanted to see it already.  My sister sent me an email this morning that said:

Harry Potter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 We are pretty excited about it.

And then Sunday Keary is leaving for a business meeting that involves getting to sit in the luxury suite at the St. Louis Rams football game and be gone overnight.  I really don't know anything about football so I am not too jealous of that part, but I am not too keen on not him not being home overnight though. Not to worry though, we will have this vicious beast guarding us:

 

Plain Rotten

What do you do when you get into a funk?  Not a quick passing funk, one that seems to be never ending and you would rather have bamboo shoots shoved in your nail beds than be around yourself.

I have been in one for a solid two weeks and there are just not words for how bad I feel or for how bad I feel for those who have to be around me.  (Hi kids if you or your therapist are years in the future and reading this.  Sorry.  I got through this though and did minimal damage to you at best, right?)  I am exhausted, but I cannot sleep.  Once I do sleep, I have exhausting dreams and wake up even more exhausted, plus then I can't go back to sleep.  The word cranky doesn't even begin to describe my mood; though I am trying to keep it to myself, I know that I am failing at keeping it all to myself.  I'm more anxious than usual.  I am more and more easily frustrated.  In short, I am a complete and utter joy to be around.

I thought at first it had to do with almost family drama.  (The almost part being on the family part, the drama was definitely there.)  But I feel fine about any part I might have had in it and think I am right and doing what is best for my family.  That doesn't make me enjoy the thought of the upcoming holidays though.

The more thought I put into it (which I am sure isn't helping me), the more I have started to wonder if it isn't very directly related to the time change and fewer hours of sunlight.  The timing fits.  My sleep pattern change fits.  This time of year is notoriously bad for me, so it seems to be a pattern.

Whatever the cause, be it drama, seasonal affective disorders, holiday stress, regular every day stress, I have got to fix it.  I have been making mindful efforts to breath and remind myself that it may not be the kids or husband being particularly annoying and maybe it is my mood.  I have been paying attention to what I eat and opening the curtains as soon as I get up and trying to get out of the house, even if it is to wander aimlessly around Target.  Still though, I want to be done with this funk.

I'll post this because I am fairly certain my husband doesn't know I write here.

I spent multiple hours yesterday trying to get this image uploaded to shutterfly. Whenever I previewed my prints though, it kept being cropped where you could barely see the top and bottom row. I was beyond frustrated. And I couldn't seem to word my quetion right to figure out how to fix my issue. My lack of technical skills is truly atrocious.  I have learned everything through trial and error, heavy on the error.

Here is one of Keary's Christmas gifts. I am printing it up 16X20 or so and framing it.  I got the idea from here.  I am also working on printing him off a photo book of pictures from the past year.  Nice gifts, right?  I am trying.  It is hard to come up with gifts for someone with no hobbies or interests beyond World of Warcraft.

And if you don't know what World of Warcraft is, I am jealous.  Just know it is a thorn in my side and has been for 5? years.

Bake Sales and Indecision

Last week Gwendolyn brought a note home from school requesting the parents donate baked items for a bake sale that will run in conjunction with a gift bazaar the church is having.  This should be no big deal, right?  They didn't request a specific item so any type of baked good or treat should be fine.  And I am a pretty good cook, even if I do say so myself.  I suppose for other people who don't reside in my head, which should otherwise be known as crazy fruitcake territory, it probably wouldn't be a big deal.

I immediately started racking my head trying to figure out the very perfect baked sale item to send.  I have hundreds of dessert recipes saved in my online cookbook and even more saved on google reader, I should be able to come up with something.  But some things are better served warm and immediately, some things may need to be chilled so they might go bad waiting to be bought-  Oh God, what if no one buys what I make?!  Then the teachers and parents might think less of me... and Gwendolyn... and I will ruin everything for Maggie before she ever gets there!  I have issues, what can I say?  So I took to twitter to ask what they thought I should make.  The general consensus there was pie or rice krispy treats.  I mulled that over, but then I was afraid my pie crust would get soggy or that I would need to individually wrap the rice krispy treats.  I told Keary I needed to take a baked treat and he asked if I was just going to bake the cookie dough I have in the fridge.
"I have to do more than that.  I am pretty sure the school expects more than store-bought refrigerator cookie dough cookies."
So I texted Mom.  I don't remember bake sales growing up, but surely there were and she took goods to them.  She suggested I take a 7-Up cake or any bundt cake because "bundt cakes look pretty so they sell well." That made sense.  I mean unless you have seen some of the bundt cakes I have made that have gotten stuck in the pan, but I could probably handle making a 7-Up cake.  It will probably come out of the pan this time.  And then she sent me "Or just go buy some frozen cinnamon rolls and pass them off as your own like I used to.  You have two small children and a dog.  It is just a school bake sale.  What matters is you donate something."  Apparently she realized I was over-thinking and thinking in circles.

And I was relieved for a few minutes.  Until my mind amped back up and I started thinking about all the other parents having kids too and they are probably busy and still having to donate baked goods.  Their baked goods will probably be fancily decorated too.  And those parents will probably be dressed nice when they drop off their goodies... And will have gone to the gym earlier in the day where they continue to prepare to run their half-marathons or teach aerobics.  Then they will go home and prepare nearly gourmet dinners and not yell or snap at their kids or husbands...

So it seems I have tried to wrap up my self-worth and children's future in what I am donating to a school bake sale.  Now I just hope I don't pass on my crazy fruitcakes patterns of thinking to my children.

I am probably going to take a 7-Up cake.  Or pass off frozen cinnamon rolls as my own.

At least there was no pea soup?

I couldn't so to sleep last night.  I was mildly irritated with Keary, had a 1001 thoughts filling my head, was still processing The Walking Dead (are you watching this? I missed the first episode so I am a bit lost as to why there are zombies, but I am enjoying it... I think.), then I started watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta and wishing those women had more sense to them.  I was finally winding down around midnight and about to doze off when Maggie started whining. She wasn't awake, so I thought maybe she was cold and re-situated the covers around her and hoped that would be that.

Oh how I was wrong!  Within minutes she amped up and was screaming and writhing around in a way that outdid Linda Blair in the Exorcist.  You know the scene... The one where Reagan is in bed and completely loses control of her body and actually broke Linda Blair's back during filming.  We tried holding her, letting her sit up, letting her lie on her belly, letting her lay on her back. Nothing helped and she continued to scream and contort and I couldn't help but feel awful for her.  I don't think she ever fully woke up.  We gave her gas drops and tylenol and teething tablets.  I really think she was having gas pains because she had really big toots occasionally when she contorted., but she was also grabbing her mouth when she screamed and she has half a molar left to breakthrough.  For an hour and a half, she screamed and appeared to be in awful pain.  Then, as quickly as she began, she stopped screaming and went back to sleep soundly.

Maggie and I slept until a little before ten this morning.  She has been in a good mood and even allowed us a longer than usual trip to Target.  I am not sure what caused the episode in the middle of the night.  Maybe the cup of orange juice I gave her earlier in the evening bothered her.  I just hope there are no repeats.